When Girls Can't Hear...

I came across a mother of two 8 yr old twin girls the other day at the YMCA. She told me one of her daughters wears hearing aids due to a hearing loss discovered at 3 yrs of age - it was interesting that one twin had it and the other didn't.

Her question was "How should we help her cope with this hearing loss?"...

Why did she ask me? I was born with a hearing loss and I wear 2 hearing aids myself - I'm painfully aware of the issues young girls face with this type of impairment. Isn't it hard enough JUST being a girl??!!

I was glad she asked me. I told her that the biggest obstacle besides having to work harder in school is overcoming social bias. Kids just don't know what they don't know; and let's face it, they can be really mean! So what's the best thing you can do to support your daughter? Here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. It's all who she surrounds herself with: Finding confident and understanding friends is key - once she has those friends, help her nurture those friendships because they are rare especially at that age.

2. Look at things from her POV (Point of View): If she asks you "huh" or "what?" ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS repeat yourself, and do it as many times as she needs you to. That doesn't mean you yell louder and change the way you say things, but get her to look right at you - she can read your lips guaranteed! She can pick up any voice inflection and she can sense if you're irritated - this is a REAL confidence breaker, and chances are she's very sensitive when it comes to not being able to hear.

3. Praise often: Sometimes when we can't hear we start to lose our confidence in how smart we are. Even though you know your daughter is smart, when she can't hear she's bound to get things wrong. Here is a perfect example: I remember several times when someone I didn't know asked me a question like "Hi, what's your name?" and because I didn't hear the whole question, I improvised and guess what... sometimes I improvised wrong. My response was "Yes". LOL - imagine what went through their head - "Who is this girl? She's an idiot" So bolstering your daughter's confidence at home can go a long way!

For parents with children with normal hearing: remember, you can teach your girls how to handle others with hearing loss - once they can empathize they will be more accepting!

If you don't know anyone who is deaf or hearing impaired, chances are you will someday.