This is a question I have asked myself since the 3rd grade. I began to notice being picked on was like a game... and everyone wanted to play. The only problem was that the game was called who can make Teresa cry.
What makes kids this way? I think it has something to do with the way they are raised, the way they communicate and how they interact with others at a very young age. Having said that... I'm not insinuating that kids who pick on others have bad parents, more so I'm saying there is a communication breakdown.
For instance, my son has had friends in school make him cry and say mean things, yet he has learned to be gentle and kind. He has a gentle soul, loves animals, plants, bugs and the "water ball" (which we call earth). To him - you treat the things you love with respect, and he is only 4!
So why is this? Call us hippies, but we have always believed in treating all living things with love, respect and caution. So naturally we pass this on to our kids. Not just through demonstration but through long talks, examples, explanations and when he does pick up something mean from others and repeats it, we teach him right there on the spot that we don't treat others that way!
Consistency is key.
If I had had a dollar for every time I've said things like, be gentle, that's not how we talk to each other, say please and thank you, how does that make you feel, how do you think he/she feels, etc. etc. I would be a billionaire 10 times over. Some days are harder than others and sometimes I feel like I should let somethings slide...but consistency is key! Kids learn through repetition, and that includes how to treat others. So don't ignore the "you're not my friend anymore" comments - it's not an age thing and it's not "a normal thing that passes on its own" you have to nip that in the bud!
I can only hope that my kids will treat others how they want to be treated, and so far they've been great... but it IS AN UPHILL BATTLE that you have to be prepared to fight every step of the way.
Now all we have to do is teach our kids how to respond to those other kids who are mean, and that is an entirely different blog post :)
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