I came across a mother of two 8 yr old twin girls the other day at the YMCA. She told me one of her daughters wears hearing aids due to a hearing loss discovered at 3 yrs of age - it was interesting that one twin had it and the other didn't.
Her question was "How should we help her cope with this hearing loss?"...
Why did she ask me? I was born with a hearing loss and I wear 2 hearing aids myself - I'm painfully aware of the issues young girls face with this type of impairment. Isn't it hard enough JUST being a girl??!!
I was glad she asked me. I told her that the biggest obstacle besides having to work harder in school is overcoming social bias. Kids just don't know what they don't know; and let's face it, they can be really mean! So what's the best thing you can do to support your daughter? Here are a few things to keep in mind:
1. It's all who she surrounds herself with: Finding confident and understanding friends is key - once she has those friends, help her nurture those friendships because they are rare especially at that age.
2. Look at things from her POV (Point of View): If she asks you "huh" or "what?" ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS repeat yourself, and do it as many times as she needs you to. That doesn't mean you yell louder and change the way you say things, but get her to look right at you - she can read your lips guaranteed! She can pick up any voice inflection and she can sense if you're irritated - this is a REAL confidence breaker, and chances are she's very sensitive when it comes to not being able to hear.
3. Praise often: Sometimes when we can't hear we start to lose our confidence in how smart we are. Even though you know your daughter is smart, when she can't hear she's bound to get things wrong. Here is a perfect example: I remember several times when someone I didn't know asked me a question like "Hi, what's your name?" and because I didn't hear the whole question, I improvised and guess what... sometimes I improvised wrong. My response was "Yes". LOL - imagine what went through their head - "Who is this girl? She's an idiot" So bolstering your daughter's confidence at home can go a long way!
For parents with children with normal hearing: remember, you can teach your girls how to handle others with hearing loss - once they can empathize they will be more accepting!
If you don't know anyone who is deaf or hearing impaired, chances are you will someday.
Better Safe Than Sorry...
Jun 2, 2010
Don’t talk to strangers, safety in numbers, don’t look like a victim, be aware...etc... As parents, we say these very important phrases all the time! But what does it really mean, and how do you teach your daughter to stay out of danger?
Imagine you’re watching the Discovery Channel, and it’s one of those nature shows. It pans across a huge field with hundreds of Zebra grazing and eating grass, and all of a sudden you see a pack of lions approach...what do you think the Zebra would do?
A. The Zebra hang out a bit thinking maybe the lions will come back some other time.
B. The Zebra aren’t quite finished eating yet, so they finish up before leaving.
C. The Zebra SCRAM...who wants to get eaten! “C” is the ANSWER!
So how come we stick around in situations where we feel uncomfortable?
Here are a few tips help train yourself and your daughter to recognize and avoid danger:
1. Know Your Zones!
Imagine a traffic light... it has a “GREEN” light, a “YELLOW” light and a “RED” light. Each of those lights tells you something important. Green light says it’s safe to go, while a red light says STOP. The yellow light tells you to proceed with caution.
Safety “Zones” are just like that... except we don’t have a light to tell us which zone we’re in, all we have is our senses. So how does this translate? Let me give you some examples:
Green Zone: This is the safe zone! This is the place where your kids feel safe. Example: at home, or out with you (the parents etc).
Red Zone: Danger Zone! This is the get me the heck out of here zone! In this zone their guard is up, and adrenaline is pumping--ex: dark parking lot, or walking home at night from a friend’s house.
Yellow Zone: This is the caution zone! Kids may feel a bit more relaxed in this place, ex: walking to the car with you the parents, at school, shopping at the mall, or hanging at the movie theater, etc.
Teach your daughter about Zones and make sure she knows how to identify her Yellow Zones as they are the most dangerous.
2. Scan With A Plan
How do you teach your daughter to stay aware without being paranoid? Scan with a Plan -- Teach them to keep their eyes on their surroundings, and teach them how to look for things that seem out of place.
Ask them, when they look around do they look from left to right or right to left when scanning their surroundings? Do they look near and far? What would they do if they DID see something or if they felt uncomfortable?
Being aware is one of the most important things you can do to spot potential danger. To practice, take your daughter and go outside. Once you’re out there you have 30 seconds to scan your environment and describe what you see. Now I’m not talking about big things like cars and trees... I’m talking about smaller things like a blue striped ball across the street in the gutter kind of thing.
ONLY DUMB bad guys stick out like a sore thumb... when scanning your environment it pays to look for the little things like shadows, shoes, fingers, or anything that seems out of place!
3. Have a Plan: If your daughter is uncomfortable or feels that something isn't quite right, it's our job to teach them what to do. No matter how minor the situation tell them to get out of that situation immediately and get an adult. It's much better to be safe than sorry... even if they feel embarrassed for making assumptions.
Help your daughter to know her zones, scan her surroundings and have a plan! I also recommend finding a good self-defense workshop in your community - practice makes perfect.
Imagine you’re watching the Discovery Channel, and it’s one of those nature shows. It pans across a huge field with hundreds of Zebra grazing and eating grass, and all of a sudden you see a pack of lions approach...what do you think the Zebra would do?
A. The Zebra hang out a bit thinking maybe the lions will come back some other time.
B. The Zebra aren’t quite finished eating yet, so they finish up before leaving.
C. The Zebra SCRAM...who wants to get eaten! “C” is the ANSWER!
So how come we stick around in situations where we feel uncomfortable?
Here are a few tips help train yourself and your daughter to recognize and avoid danger:
1. Know Your Zones!
Imagine a traffic light... it has a “GREEN” light, a “YELLOW” light and a “RED” light. Each of those lights tells you something important. Green light says it’s safe to go, while a red light says STOP. The yellow light tells you to proceed with caution.
Safety “Zones” are just like that... except we don’t have a light to tell us which zone we’re in, all we have is our senses. So how does this translate? Let me give you some examples:
Green Zone: This is the safe zone! This is the place where your kids feel safe. Example: at home, or out with you (the parents etc).
Red Zone: Danger Zone! This is the get me the heck out of here zone! In this zone their guard is up, and adrenaline is pumping--ex: dark parking lot, or walking home at night from a friend’s house.
Yellow Zone: This is the caution zone! Kids may feel a bit more relaxed in this place, ex: walking to the car with you the parents, at school, shopping at the mall, or hanging at the movie theater, etc.
Teach your daughter about Zones and make sure she knows how to identify her Yellow Zones as they are the most dangerous.
2. Scan With A Plan
How do you teach your daughter to stay aware without being paranoid? Scan with a Plan -- Teach them to keep their eyes on their surroundings, and teach them how to look for things that seem out of place.
Ask them, when they look around do they look from left to right or right to left when scanning their surroundings? Do they look near and far? What would they do if they DID see something or if they felt uncomfortable?
Being aware is one of the most important things you can do to spot potential danger. To practice, take your daughter and go outside. Once you’re out there you have 30 seconds to scan your environment and describe what you see. Now I’m not talking about big things like cars and trees... I’m talking about smaller things like a blue striped ball across the street in the gutter kind of thing.
ONLY DUMB bad guys stick out like a sore thumb... when scanning your environment it pays to look for the little things like shadows, shoes, fingers, or anything that seems out of place!
3. Have a Plan: If your daughter is uncomfortable or feels that something isn't quite right, it's our job to teach them what to do. No matter how minor the situation tell them to get out of that situation immediately and get an adult. It's much better to be safe than sorry... even if they feel embarrassed for making assumptions.
Help your daughter to know her zones, scan her surroundings and have a plan! I also recommend finding a good self-defense workshop in your community - practice makes perfect.
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